During the 2017 build season I came out to my team as transgender. The team was fine with it, extremely supportive even. The mentors, not so much. They didn’t say much about it, or acknowledge it even. I suppose worse could have happened. All was well until time came for an away regional. They were intending to put me in a boys room, and I of course was very very uncomfortable and unhappy about this. Luckily, I have fantastic friends that stood up for me and got them to change their minds about it. They ended up putting me in my own room alone and away from everyone else. This was preferable to a guys room, though I was still pretty unhappy with my situation because I was away from my friends. At this point, however, I was willing to take anything that wasn’t a boys room.
When the time came for competition, they again asked me if I wanted a boys room, it seemed as if they were pushing me towards going in to one. I refused of course, and the mentor who asked me seemed grumpy about it. At that moment I asked if there was absolutely no way I could stay in the girls room(my gender is female), and to this question, his response was :”No, of course not. Out of the question”. I was again upset by this, but I was grateful they didn’t force me into a boys room. What got me really pissed off was that the ‘girls’ room was comprised of one girl, one nonbinary person, and a trans guy. They put a boy in the girls room over me. The guy in question didn’t want to fight them, and was more uncomfortable being in a guys room for understandable reasons, so he just decided to stay in the girls room. The whole point of this story wasn’t just to share a negative experience, but I would not have gotten any accommodation had it not been for my friends who stood up for me and did what I was too timid to do for myself. Eventually, I was able to stand up for myself, but this was after my friends had supported me. I guess what I am saying is, if your mentors are refusing to yield, don’t back down from them. The only way you can get what you want is by fighting for your rights. – Julia With Pride Month quickly approaching, we want to highlight the vastly different experiences of our community. We’re interested in hearing your experience being LGBTQ+ in FIRST Robotics. For the next month, the stories we tell will be yours, so send us anecdotes, testimonials, good experiences and negative ones.
The Guidelines:
If you’re interested, fill out this form: https://goo.gl/forms/tlFJspIuC3sAwkjq2. Thank you for your submissions. We’re looking forward to reading your stories. Don’t let people tell you that you can’t succeed at something. Seriously. People will continue to try and shut you down, but don’t listen to them. If I had listened to all the naysayers- all the people telling me I would not succeed- I wouldn’t be part of the FIRST community today. Joining robotics was one of the most worthwhile decisions of my life, and had I given in to what others were telling me- I would not have been the same.
I’ve been part of 5683 for two years now. These past two years have taught me so much more than just STEM skills. I have learned more about life through FRC than I have through my actual classes. This program is a good character builder, that’s for sure. However, the decision to actually join a team was no easy task for me. By the time I got to freshman year, I was already so used to belittling myself and telling myself “you can’t possibly do it,” that I almost didn’t join. Luckily I have a good friend who convinced me otherwise. But why was I so adamant about not being able to do FRC in the first place? What makes robotics so intimidating? Well, when people tell you over and over again that you shouldn’t do something, or silently judge you for wanting to do something- you start to not believe you can actually do it. I started my interest in computer science around 5th grade. One of my favorite artists at the time was also attending school for programming, and posted their experiences on their blog. Of course I was young, so I had the childish enthusiasm of wanting to be just like one of my idols. I would read up about computers and programming on and off, but as soon as I started to research what was required of a programming career- I realized it required intensive math. I wasn’t the best math student when I was younger, and my teachers had made that clear to me. It makes me wonder how many students have been turned away from robotics/programming for similar reasons. Also, it didn’t help that whenever I actually showed interest in computer science around my peers they’d make the assumption I was interested in it only because my twin brother is. Now I admit that I’m a bit more sensitive to criticism than most. In middle school especially, I struggled a lot with not thinking I was “good enough” for anything. So the constant of people telling me I shouldn’t be a part of robotics/computer science was only worsened by my own psyche. As I look back, I realize now that there are always going to be people trying to tell you what you can and can’t do. I also realize I would be in a world of regret if I didn’t take the plunge and join FRC. You don’t have to be a genius to build a robot, more often than not people are willing to teach you. I’m so grateful that my friends convinced me to join. FRC gives me something to look forward to, and through all my struggles- I think it’s taught me to be a better person as well. I wish I had known when I was younger that you don’t have to be a genius. I’ve seen so many people in situations like mine, where they truly believe they can’t do it. There is such a stereotype around robotics, and I think it’s about time for it to be broken. You can do anything you put your mind to, regardless of what people say. So dare to dream and do what you like, because if you don’t- you’ll only end up with regrets. -Kira K. 5683 Interested in sharing your story as an LGBTQ+ member of the FIRST community? Have unique insight on what’s going on and how we can make the community a better place? The admins of LGBTQ+ of FIRST want to hear your experiences! We want to reach out in the FIRST community to get insight from LGBTQ+ students, mentors, and volunteers alike. Our hopes are that sharing these stories help people feel more welcome in the FIRST community, as well as help improve awareness in the community. Reaching out to others doesn’t just help create a sense of belonging within FIRST, but gives us a fresh perspective on issues other individuals face as well.
There are two ways you can apply for an interview with us:
(https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1TqSUDY3thKjvbiU5ILh4G66Qgo52nNroIBhUuhPjs98/edit?usp=sharing)
(https://goo.gl/forms/Arbpp435AYw9ifr82) An admin will get in contact with you shortly after you apply. If you have any additional questions or concerns, you can always email us at [email protected] We look forward to hearing your responses! -Kira K. 568 FIRST and foremost, coming out is entirely up to you. Coming out doesn’t make you more LGBTQ+. If you are closeted, you are not lying to anyone. You don’t owe the details of your sexuality or gender or sex to anyone. So, how you do know if you should come out? First, you should make sure coming out is safe for you. Will you be kicked out of home? Will you be in physical or psychological danger? If so, you have to weigh the pros and cons of coming out. Is the joy of finally being free worth the possible harm? If you’re having trouble, try looking at a physical representation of the pros and cons through a t chart. Mine looked a little like this: If your chart as an equal amount of pros and cons, you can assign numbers for how likely each pro or con is to happen. Pros are positive numbers 1 to 5 and cons are negative numbers -1 to -5. Something like “I wouldn’t feel like I was hiding something” would be (in my situation) a +5 but a “My parents might be mad at me” (in my situation) would be a -4. If you add up your list and end with a net positive, then you should consider coming out. If you end up with a net negative, you should further consider the safety of coming out. Make sure to also take the value of each situation into account. How much do you care about your parents being mad at you? Could you handle the negatives? Even if you end in a net positive, make sure to think about whether or not you could handle the negative outcomes.
Of course, you don’t have to come out to everyone at once, but remember, the more people who know, the more likely the information is to spread. If you aren’t completely out, make sure you are only coming out to trustworthy people who will not “out” you to others. Finally, no matter if you end with a positive or negative number, make sure you make a plan for the worst case scenario. If you are kicked out, do you have a place to stay? If you are forced into therapy, do you have the help of a reputable psychologist to convince your parents the idea is unsafe? If you would face physical violence, are you prepared to defend yourself? Your personal safety comes FIRST, and neither choice is wrong. Coming out is difficult and potentially dangerous, but it can also lead to so much happiness and joy. The decision is entirely up to you, so stay safe and good luck! -Sean 5113 I’m a lesbian member on our FRC team, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one, nobody has said otherwise. But despite me being the odd one out, my team has been great with being accepting of my sexuality.
When I came out, it was just to a couple of friends and it wasn’t a big deal or anything. I just went “i’m gay btw haha so how about that water game being confirmed am i right?” and they were cool with it. After that everyone just sort of figured it out. The rookies even figured it out despite me not telling them, they don’t mind at all! My team is so comfortable with me being gay we casually joke about it. They make it clear that they mean no offense and they 100% support me. The one issue I did have was outing, they did this a lot. I consider myself comfortable with my sexuality, but I want to tell people I’m gay when I’m ready (unless they just figure it out). I don’t want random people knowing this. I’m not trying to say it’s a bad thing you should hide, but it’s just not other people’s business for me personally. They’re getting better at this after I communicated I didn’t like this. That’s the big key for this: communication. If you are gay, the FIRST community is very welcoming of you and you will almost definitely be accepted. However, you have to communicate with your team the do’s and don'ts. I am more than comfortable with letting my team joke around and even let them say “fag” and “queer”, I say it around them and it’s only fair they do too. But some people are not and that’s fine. Communicate with your team about these kinds of things. If people don’t support gay rights, that’s honestly fine. We had someone like that on my team. I didn’t bash him, despite my team wanting to for my sake (which was sweet!) and instead just let him get used to my presence. I’m gay and he knows it. By the beginning of the year he 100% did not support gay people, and now he’s saying he does. Even if they don’t end up supporting it, that’s ok. As long as they treat you like a human and don’t be a dick about it. -Much love from 3735! Hey! Thanks for sharing your story! -Kiran L. 2826 Hi all,
I’ve already posted an eighteen minute video, so I figure you probably don’t want to read another three hundred page essay about my TEDx talk. It was an insane opportunity to receive, to prepare for, and finally, to perform. If you don’t have the time to watch the entire video, that’s okay! Here’s a short breakdown!
Thank you for making the world a better place with me, Kiran L. 2826 P.S. This was the first and only time I’ve worn make-up. How do people that wear it everyday do things like drink water?! -Kiran L. 2826 Through the years, I’ve always found that you tend to look back and face a lot of regret. Things you should have done but didn’t, and things you did and shouldn’t have. I, for one, have a ton of helpful tips for my younger self. Middle school me was a disaster, y’all. An absolute terror. I don’t even remember my middle school years, that’s how bad I was as a small child.
There have always been thoughts in the back of my mind about my past self. What my life could be like now if I could have heard these thoughts back when I needed them.
- Wheatley S. 2421 Hello, lovely followers! We’re excited to announce that we’re adding Saturdays posts to our schedule. These posts will be admins’ personal stories on both LGBTQ+ and FIRST related things! With Kickoff right around the corner, we are looking forward to new students joining and becoming active members in the FIRST community. Because of this, I wanted to share what drew me into the wonderful world of FIRST.
I’ve participated in a variety of activities in High School. From Math League to Speech to Knowledge Bowl to Prom Committee, I just hadn’t found a perfect fit for me. All of these extracurriculars were great but had the same problem. They all put me in a position where I was forced to compete against my friends, whether for the prom theme or a spot on the bus to sections. As a student with anxiety, it was a serious problem. Late into my sophomore year, a few students on the robotics team reached out to me and expressed their love for FIRST. I was intrigued, but it was far too late in the season for me to join. It also overlapped with several of my other commitments. I finished sophomore year curious about what would happen if I joined robotics. At the beginning of my junior year, I was approached again. Students would sit next to me at lunch and tell me about what it is like on the team. It was the beginning of the team’s third year, and they were coming off a successful season where they qualified for Minnesota State Championships. I heard about the amazing opportunities, great friendships, and was told over and over how good FIRST looks on a college application. The coach of the team told me about the different skills I would learn, and how they would apply to a future career in STEM. I caved and attended the interest meeting, a decision that has changed my life. I was brought into an environment where a group of students truly worked as a team. My team became a second family for me, and I will be forever grateful for them. The first regional I attended was the first time our team took home a blue banner. Being regional winners earned us a spot in St Louis at the World Championship. Success and growth in a team-oriented environment is exactly what I need in an extracurricular. As my second and final season approaches, I now try to reach out to as many students as possible, telling them about how much I love the community in FIRST and the great opportunities they have on an FRC team. I do this with hopes that it’ll provide the same great experience for others as it has for me. – Abby, MN FIRST psychosuitcase asked:
My name is Lawrence from team 1529 and just here recently I’ve been put in charge of a diversity subgroup for our team. I’m a fully out transboy on the team and my job is to make sure everyone feels safe to be themselves. I just wanted to share that. Hello, fellow dude! It’s so awesome that you have a diversity subgroup. If you ever want to share any of your work with the blog, just submit it (with consent from your team, of course) and we’d be happy to spread some cool diversity to other FIRSTers out there! -Staff: Sean 5113 |
About LGBTQ+ of FIRST
LGBTQ+ of FIRST is a student run organization that advocates awareness and acceptance of LGBTQ+ students, mentors, and volunteers of FIRST Robotics. LGBTQ+ of FIRST reaches out to over 1000 members across the FIRST regions and fronts multiple outreach endeavors. Archives
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