I’m a bit of a nerd *gasp* so this is a poem I wrote about dysphoria and gender queries.
“Going Up in Flames”
a moment frozen in time
a piece of my soul.
There’s a box in my closet,
filled with pictures of the person I used to be.
The life and times of a ghost.
Jigsaw puzzle pieces,
forced together in ways that don’t fit–
A mismatch of stories,
spliced to form a never-ending reel:
a documentary of my life.
I keep my shadow locked away,
in hopes you’ll never see what was.
I ripped apart the stitches
that held us together,
because there is nothing but pain for me there.
keeping me shackled to the past
when I should be looking towards the future.
A constant game of
before and after,
and I can’t help but feel like I never measure up.
From the time that I was born,
my mother started making scrapbooks.
Page after page
of baby photos and memorabilia.
First days of school
and piano recitals,
little pink dresses
and frilly easter bonnets.
I should feel touched
that my mother spent so much of her time
trying to make me a time capsule,
but I wish it would stay buried.
I don’t want something to remember my childhood by.
The person I was then,
doesn’t even share a body
with the person I am now.
They’re something that should be cherished,
but I don’t even want to look at them.
They’re nothing but kindling
for a forest fire of questions
that I’m not ready for.
So I’m taking the initiative.
Bonfire at my place-
nostalgia not welcome.
About LGBTQ+ of FIRST
LGBTQ+ of FIRST is an organization dedicated to raising awareness and acceptance of LGBTQ+ participants in FIRST Robotics. LGBTQ+ of FIRST was started to spread visibility of the LGBTQ+ community within FIRST and help teams become safe spaces for their members.