Respecting and Dealing with Hetero/Cis Teammates

As we enter week three of build season, the stress is probably starting to climb and teams should be well on their way to making a functional robot. By now freshmen should be introduced to the craziness that is FRC, and upperclassmen are probably hard at work or arguing over design ideas for the umpteenth time this week. Robotics teams are, in my experience, like a huge dysfunctional family. FIRST robotics is made up of a very diverse group of people, all coming together to build amazing robots. As much as some individuals like to poke fun at The Straights™ here on tumblr, they’re still going to be your teammates. All joking aside, you’re still going have to deal with, and respect hetero/cis people on your team. In order for a team to be functional, everyone has to respect each other equally. Here are some ideas to keep in mind when dealing with those who are not LGBTQ+ on your team.

• Don’t pick fights, but stand up against discrimination: It’s important that your teammates respect you, and that you respect them. If someone is being homophobic/transphobic- call them out on it. Don’t let yourself get pushed down because others don’t respect you. If you feel you’re in an unsafe situation, try reaching out to a mentor or another adult you trust. You deserve to be safe just as much as everyone else.
• Educate- don’t berate: It’s important to educate people on issues if they don’t know it, because sometimes people just don’t know. If they’re willing to listen to reason, by all means give them some information about your situation and LGBTQ+ issues. When you’re educating someone however, put-downs are not okay. You want them to respect you, not turn against you. Mutual respect is very important.
• PDA and Relationships- Keep it professional: If you have to deal with PDA, it can be obnoxious for everyone- regardless of orientation. If you’re dating someone on your team, don’t let it get in the way of your work. The same goes for hetero/cis people. Sure, a quick kiss on the cheek and holding hands is all good, but don’t let it become a detriment to your team.
• They can be your allies: If your team is accepting of you, they can be your biggest allies. Use that to your advantage. Those who stick up for you regardless of your personal identities are the ones you should keep close to you.
• Agree to Disagree: Sometimes you just aren’t going to win. Certain people cannot be reasoned with, and sometimes you have to just walk away. Whether it be a debate about sexuality or politics or anything else, you might just have to be the bigger person. Don’t waste your energy on someone who’s not going to listen to you.
• Stay Safe: It’s been said before, and I’ll say it again, your personal safety is a number one priority. Robotics should be a safe space for everyone. If you decide to come out to your teammates, start with those you trust the most. If it’s safer to stay in the closet, do not by any means feel pressured to come out. Safety is a big theme in FIRST, and it should apply to mental safety as well. Distance yourself from those teammates who make you feel unsafe, and find solace in those you do trust.

In the six weeks that you’re stuck with your team, there’s bound to be some conflicts and bumps in the road. Make the most of it, and remember that mutual respect is key. Have a safe and fun build season, and best of luck to all of you nerds!
- Kira K. 5683